For families like mine, with an autistic child and my own ADHD and anxiety, Christmas is rarely “calm” or “bright.” In fact, it is often loud, noisy, and overwhelming. Our children get overwhelmed by the lights and the new items. We, as parents, get overwhelmed by all the mess and noise. There are so many sensory inputs flowing through that you feel like you are in a never-ending vacuum of noise. And, that doesn’t even take into account that I’m operating on just a few hours of sleep after leading multiple Christmas services as a pastor.
Ruth saw a bright future for herself. She didn’t have an exact plan in front of her. But at 18, she vaguely knew what she wanted in the future: a master’s degree, a husband, a job she enjoyed, and children. Emma was on another path altogether. When Emma turned 18, she was already enrolled in a school for students with more significant disabilities.
Zechariah, despite being visited by an angel, doubted what he had been told, and so Gabriel told him that because of this doubt, Zechariah would not be able to speak until his son was born. So, he became unable to speak, and therefore unable to communicate through speech. What did he do? And what does his story teach us about people who cannot communicate by speech, or choose not to, today?
There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
How many of us counted the cost (both emotionally and financially) of what it would take to raise a child and/or care for an aging parent? Many are doing both…Because we love our child, we don’t often consider the cost because we simply do what is needed and want the best for them.
Parents of children with disabilities face unique challenges that can make the journey of parenting even more demanding. While advice like “practice self-care” is common, it doesn’t always provide the deep, meaningful support parents truly need. So, here are some unique and uncommon ways to find joy and strength as a parent.
Margaret Vasquez explained that emotions aren’t who we are. Rather, they are similar to physical sensations. When we feel something hot, cold, sharp, or painful, our bodies are alerting us to approach with caution something in our environment. When we feel emotions––big and small––our mind is alerting us to something internal that deserves our attention.
“My daughter has changed so much in this area during her 18 years of life. It’s progress, and it’s a small thing that I appreciate as her mother now. During those years when it didn’t go well, they were hard. Haircuts haven’t been the only area of growth. I recall being completely anxious every time I left the house with my daughter alone as she would run off and not respond to my pleas to stop. The running off and the anxiousness eventually stopped, but life was hard until then.” Evana Sandusky
Like a new outfit that looks crisp and sharp or an old outfit that is so worn out it’s comfy and we wear it all the time….is often how we wear the banner of the special needs journey. How does it look on us? On you? Is our attire crisp and sharp or rather worn out? Cindi Ferrini writes on how YOU wear special needs and caregiving.
