This is the final segment of a five-part series on empowering children with disabilities written by Jolene Philo. - Editor
Empowering kids with disabilities isn’t always a serious business.
The previous posts in this series about meeting our kids’ basic needs (Part 1: Survival, Part 2: Love and Belonging, Part 3: Power and Self-Worth, and Part 4: Freedom) may have led you to believe. This post looks at the fifth basic human need in psychiatrist William Glasser’s choice theory which is fun.
That’s right. Fun!
The Glasser Institute website says the need for fun “encompasses pleasure, play, humor, relaxation, and relevant learning.”
So how do parents make space for fun between all the serious stuff like medical and therapy appointments, hospital stays, school, special classes, and more without feeling guilty? The answer is simple.
Give kids opportunities for play.
Photo by Senjuti Kundu on Unsplash
Renowned child psychologist Jean Piaget said, “Play is the work of childhood.”
The even more renowned Fred Rogers said, “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning.”
I wholeheartedly agree with these two.
The most effective and least painful I found to get the kids in my life on board with whatever they needed to learn—be it content or a process, acceptable behavior or a skill—was to make it fun. Making things fun turned what my students, children, and grandchildren perceived as work into play. Which, as Jean and Fred said, is the work of childhood.
Here are a few of the easiest ways I found to make work fun for kids:
Sing and dance. Create lyrics about what’s being learned and sing them to pop tunes or simple nursery songs. Add motions so kids can move as much as they’re able. Repeat the songs and motions for a few weeks and the information will be embedded in your child’s brain forever. Such is the power of music and dance! I have former third and fourth-grade students––some of whom received special education services—who send messages about the multiplication songs they learned decades ago. God not only made our brains respond to music but also made it fun for kids. Take advantage of this gift often!
Make it a game. Kids love games because they are fun. So get creative to make what kids need to practice into a game. Turn therapy exercises into a game by doing them with your child. Turn word recognition flashcards into a matching game. Turn reading or math into a game by letting your child teach you now and then. Almost anything can become a game.
Pay attention to your child’s interests. Individual interests are a window into what different kids think is fun. Weaving interests into daily activities is a simple way to meet a child’s need for fun. By teaching them this strategy, they become better able to meet the need by themselves. For example, a child who likes cooking will find the skills related to preparing a simple meal (grocery shopping, handling money, reading a recipe, measuring, and more) to be fun. A child who’s nuts about Star Wars will want to read a book about R2-D2 because it’s fun.
Celebrate. A lot. Sometimes we get caught up in the challenges of raising a child with disabilities, and we ignore the joy. By making a habit of looking for reasons to rejoice, we discover much to celebrate. Here are some things we’ve celebrated with our grandkids this spring: planting trees, our grandson’s love for Dogman graphic novels, Memorial Day, cherry pie, and making Jello. After the last day of school, we celebrated by roasting hot dogs, eating watermelon, and making s’mores for supper. (An easy meal made it a double celebration for the cook.)
Play for play’s sake. Not every activity in our kids’ day should be linked to therapy goals or improving behavior or learning social skills or mastering school content. They need time to rest and relax and play. When we truly believe that “play is serious learning,” we can let go of guilt because we know children learn as they play.
The life of Jesus illustrates the human need for fun. His parents and their friends celebrated his birth. He went to at least one wedding. He rejoiced in the presence of children. He took breaks to rest and relax. He cultivated friendships. In other words, he had fun even though he came to earth to do serious work. When we invite play into our children’s daily activities, we are following his lead. We are empowering kids with disabilities to meet their needs for fun.
Now, go forth and have some serious fun with your kids!
Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Sing!, the second book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in November of 2022.
