A couple months ago at the Wonderfully Made Conference, I closed out my breakout on supporting special-needs siblings with a Q&A. One mom asked, “My young son is already afraid he won’t be able to care for his sister and all her medical needs when they are adults. How do I help him?” My answer—we must help them see it isn’t all up to them. They don’t have to do it in their own strength. We point them to the one who will never fail them.
We remember and tell what God has done.
When our children learn Bible stories from us and at church, they see what God can do. They read about Jonah and the big fish, John eating locusts, and of course, David and Goliath. From these stories they learn God is with them. They learn God will strengthen them. They even learn following God doesn’t mean everything in this life will be easy. I’m thankful for all they learn from Scripture.
But I don’t want the stories my son is reading in the Bible to be just like the stories he’s learning in history class, about people who lived long ago and far away, who don’t have much to do with him and what’s happening in his life in 2019. How do I show him God was at work in the lives of Jonah, John, and David, and He’s still at work in our lives today?
I show him God is still at work in our lives by doing just at the Bible told parents to do thousands of years ago:
“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children–how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.’” Deuteronomy 4:9-10 ESV (emphasis mine)
I make known to him what God has done and what God is doing in my life and in our family, church, and community. We look for answers to prayer. We look for blessings from Him. We also don’t hide the hard stuff from him. When we pray at night, we tell him what’s on our hearts and what we’re asking God to do. Then when God answers our prayers and works situations out for our good and His glory, we talk about them again.
This year we prayed for James to get into a new therapy. After a year on the waitlist he finally did! We praised Him together! Now we’re praying for a way to pay for that therapy in 2020. But instead of hiding that stress from our fourteen-year-old son, we ask him to pray with us for money to cover the costs. And if He doesn't provide in that way, we are praying for other opportunities for James to keep making progress. When God answers our prayer in His time and His way, we’ll be able to “remember and tell” again of His faithfulness.
I won’t always be with David, but no matter where he goes or what he faces in life, I pray he remembers not only the lessons from the Bible, but also the lessons we learned together as a family.
Hear this, you elders; give ear, all inhabitants of the land! Has such a thing happened in your days, or in the days of your fathers? Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children to another generation. Joel 1:2-3 ESV
The most important gift you can give your kids at the end of this year is to show them God is still at work. Sit down with them and talk about all God has done in your lives in 2019. Remember and tell over and over again. And as you transition to 2020, make it an everyday habit!
Sandra Peoples (M Div, PhD student) is the disability ministry consultant for the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention, an adjunct professor for Liberty University, and the author of Unexpected Blessings: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special-Needs Family. She and her family live outside of Houston, TX.
