Seasons help us to realize we’re not alone. We might still feel alone but we can see things differently and then change our thinking, and even our responses. We know everyone goes through “stuff” but sometimes we need to recognize it just happens to be our turn. The harder part is that we still have someone we are caring for full time, 24/7 added to the new hard stuff!
For families like mine, with an autistic child and my own ADHD and anxiety, Christmas is rarely “calm” or “bright.” In fact, it is often loud, noisy, and overwhelming. Our children get overwhelmed by the lights and the new items. We, as parents, get overwhelmed by all the mess and noise. There are so many sensory inputs flowing through that you feel like you are in a never-ending vacuum of noise. And, that doesn’t even take into account that I’m operating on just a few hours of sleep after leading multiple Christmas services as a pastor.
Ruth saw a bright future for herself. She didn’t have an exact plan in front of her. But at 18, she vaguely knew what she wanted in the future: a master’s degree, a husband, a job she enjoyed, and children. Emma was on another path altogether. When Emma turned 18, she was already enrolled in a school for students with more significant disabilities.
Zechariah, despite being visited by an angel, doubted what he had been told, and so Gabriel told him that because of this doubt, Zechariah would not be able to speak until his son was born. So, he became unable to speak, and therefore unable to communicate through speech. What did he do? And what does his story teach us about people who cannot communicate by speech, or choose not to, today?
There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
Seeing many of our friends on social media taking trips to Japan, Italy, France, Greece, Egypt, and all around the USA, keeps us ever mindful that our feet are firmly planted in the nation of “caring for special needs”. But what if if several couples take turns getting to know the needs of this family and meeting those needs, so you can make a “WEEKEND TO REMEMBER” happen for them?
Only when challenges slap me upside the head do I return to practicing gratitude in hard seasons. I was about to tumble into a pit of depression––a condition that has rarely reared its ugly head in my life––when God brought to mind a practice my husband and I first used decades ago while caring for our son with special needs. Every day I have been practicing daily gratitude in a hard season. Finding reasons to be thankful instead of wallowing in the hard bits took some getting used to. But eventually I got the hang of it and ended up with a long list.
Our choosing to serve God must be taken seriously. We will have many opportunities in our everyday dealings to decide who we will serve. We must decide what, or to whom we will choose to serve, and how. We need help to choose His will over our own, because we know that He knows what is best for us. In this, we will have amazing gratitude because of what we’ve learned, how we’ve grown, and how we serve
It’s sometimes even hard to fathom, but I am now a caregiver caring for multiple generations of my family. Like me, there are many finding themselves sandwiched between two generations and caring for both. It is without a doubt, one of the hardest roads to walk. I’m thankful for the strategies that I’ve learned along the way which have helped me to not merely survive but thrive on my journey as a caregiver.
