A parent or caregiver of someone with special needs, needs the ability to bounce back. There was a time we asked each other, “What would it take (not that we want to experience it) for us to hit a breaking point?” We don’t have a list of times we thought we were close, but we do have a few stories that stick with us to help us remember not to quit when things are rough. Here are a few ways we kept mindful of the ability to bounce back.
“Learning to listen isn’t a gift; it’s a skill.” “Anytime is a good time to learn to listen.”
These statements are great places to start in the month of “love” as we share cards, gifts, and time with others. It’s a skill that can be learned and we will be all the better for it. In our family, we are still learning and growing in this area both in our marriage as well as with our grown children, their spouses, the grandchildren, and our son with special needs.
The playground was bustling with laughter and movement, but my boys, then just two and four years old, played in their own quiet way. After a speech therapy session, we stopped at a nearby park, a familiar part of our speech therapy routine when the weather was nice. My older son wandered the perimeter of the playground and discovered sweet gum balls—a spiky green fruit on the gumtree but which dries out and turns brown and drops to the ground.
Caregiving, Challenges, Special Needs Parenting, Spiritual Growth
The lessons I learned while raising a child withEA/TEF have been many and varied. That’s to be expected since our son was born in 1982 withesophageal atresia (EA) and atracheoesophageal fistula (TEF), two conditions that left him unable to swallow and required immediate surgery. Many of the lessons came about as a result of the surgeries and invasive procedures he endured between birth and age 5. Other lessons came later as he became more independent in adolescence and adulthood. I encourage you to use these ten lessons as a springboard for considering what you’ve learned as well.
Caregiving, Challenges, Marriage, Medically Fragile, Special Needs Parenting
Kingdom Focus is what first comes to mind. Those of us who are married and have someone in our life with special needs for whom we have responsibility (often 24/7 and 365!) know that without focus, we are doomed. AND for those of us who are believers in Jesus, we add to that His Kingdom focus and our part in it.
For us, we have 5 top ways to work on our marriage and keep it strong. There are more, of course, but let’s not get overloaded!
In the past few months, some significant changes have happened with my son Ryan. God has not taken away Ryan's disability, nor the progression, but He continues to show us in little ways He is standing right beside Ryan.
Looking back fifteen years later, I'm so thankful God brought her to my mind that day. I am also reminded of how much we all need each other to be willing to share our struggles so that others will know they are not alone, to be willing to listen and offer those same words, “You can do this!”
My son does not want to be a project or the recipient of your good deeds. He wants what we all want. True, unconditional friendship. Friends who truly care, who are willing to go the distance.
I pray God will show each of us in a very real way that he is right beside us. As he slows his pace to match ours, I pray we will listen to his whispers of hope and encouragement to us in this difficult season of life.