Seasons help us to realize we’re not alone. We might still feel alone but we can see things differently and then change our thinking, and even our responses. We know everyone goes through “stuff” but sometimes we need to recognize it just happens to be our turn. The harder part is that we still have someone we are caring for full time, 24/7 added to the new hard stuff!
For families like mine, with an autistic child and my own ADHD and anxiety, Christmas is rarely “calm” or “bright.” In fact, it is often loud, noisy, and overwhelming. Our children get overwhelmed by the lights and the new items. We, as parents, get overwhelmed by all the mess and noise. There are so many sensory inputs flowing through that you feel like you are in a never-ending vacuum of noise. And, that doesn’t even take into account that I’m operating on just a few hours of sleep after leading multiple Christmas services as a pastor.
Ruth saw a bright future for herself. She didn’t have an exact plan in front of her. But at 18, she vaguely knew what she wanted in the future: a master’s degree, a husband, a job she enjoyed, and children. Emma was on another path altogether. When Emma turned 18, she was already enrolled in a school for students with more significant disabilities.
Zechariah, despite being visited by an angel, doubted what he had been told, and so Gabriel told him that because of this doubt, Zechariah would not be able to speak until his son was born. So, he became unable to speak, and therefore unable to communicate through speech. What did he do? And what does his story teach us about people who cannot communicate by speech, or choose not to, today?
There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
Joe and I would like to share some thoughts that might have you thinking, “I could use a little help by going to therapy.” Whether your marriage is in a tough place, you're wondering if you’re doing the right things to help your children, or you have a special needs family and are struggling—consider therapy to get life in order.
The child was about 12 years old and weighed about that many pounds or a few more. As a young high school aged student, I didn’t know how to relate, respond, or inquire about my friends’ sibling that I was seeing—not meeting—for the first time. I’d known my friend for at least three years, and not once did my friend mention this sibling. It was my first introduction to someone having a family member with special needs.
Often, when we talk about our children with special needs, we talk about their limitations, challenges, and the things they have accomplished. It’s always a joy to share the victories in the midst of what is often a lot of work, scheduling, and coordinating a lot of people to help make it happen. But as parents of Joey who is 38, we are also very aware that while we have a lot we need to do with and for him, there are also a lot of things we’ve never had to worry about or be concerned about.
I’m introducing a new series focused on hymns and singing: to walk through songs of worship that the hurting heart needs to sing, the aching soul needs to feel, and the cracked, dried lips need to utter. Some of these songs were new to me at the conference, and I'm so excited to introduce them to you, or remind you of their truths if you already know them.
Most of us on this special needs journey put on a good face in public, but often behind closed doors we are weary, tired, sometimes frustrated, along with other challenging word choices. But we are most thankful and grateful for the stress, because of all we have learned in the midst of it. We realize that if everything went smoothly, if everything was simple and easy, we wouldn’t have any need for or room for God in our lives. We’d go with the flow, enjoy the smooth ride on the river of life, and seldom need to paddle because the ride would be so effortless.
