Halloween literally means “the evening before All Hallows Day or All Saint’s Day,” a day celebrated on the 1st of November each year. The name Halloween is a shortened version of “All Hallows’ Evening,” which is celebrated on 31st October. The origin and meaning of the festival of Halloween is derived from ancient Celtic harvest rituals, but today Halloween is a time of the year that many children really look forward to: a time for fantasy and fun, for dressing up and scary stories, a time for ‘trick or treat’ adventures and lots of sweets!
The marketing around Halloween seems to ramp up to even greater heights every year, with major supermarkets dedicating whole aisles, sometimes several of them, to their Halloween merchandise. Advertising supports this with lots of TV ads featuring ghosts, ghouls, pumpkins and spiders’ webs.
Image from @teutschmann on Unsplash
But while Halloween is a fun time of year for many children, it can be a really difficult time for some, including many children with additional/special needs. For them it can be a confusing, anxiety-inducing, or even utterly terrifying time. But it doesn’t have to be like that. If we stop for a moment to think about the things they might find hard and how to put things in place to help them, children with special needs can safely join in the fun, too. So what are some of the things about Halloween that children with additional needs can find hard?
Five Things That Make Halloween Hard
1. Stranger Danger
We tell children all year round not to talk to strangers, then on one night it's suddenly fine to go around knocking on strangers’ doors. This can be hugely difficult for some autistic children, who are often very literal in their understanding and can be very confused by this change. Why is it okay to speak to strangers today, but it wasn’t yesterday? What has changed? What will the rules be tomorrow? Why?
2. Fake or Real?
Garish costumes can be genuinely terrifying for a child who struggles to tell the difference between fake and real. Increasingly, we’re seeing dress-up outfits become more realistic, with fake gore and movie quality makeup that makes people look truly terrifying. When that line is crossed for a child who believes that the person really has hideous injuries or has been turned into something evil, their terror is real. Cue massive meltdowns, sleepless nights, and recurring anxiety.
3. I’m Scared Enough Already!
Some children with ongoing anxiety issues can find the whole business of going out 'trick or treating' very upsetting. Surprises, scares, people jumping out can all be terrifying. If it’s hard to deal with the day-to-day anxiety, ramp this up multiple times when Halloween is involved!
4. What About Me?
Then there are the kids with special needs or disabilities who don't get invited to the parties or to go out 'trick or treating,' because they are viewed as ‘different,’ usually by other parents rather than the other children. Here’s yet another opportunity for them to feel left out, rejected and uninvited because they haven’t been included.
5. Parent Problems!
It's not just the kids. For example, parents of children with ADHD may not find it very helpful when their children are given loads of sugary, colorful sweets. The parents end up staying up all night with a hyperactive, sugar-fueled child!
There are loads of other reasons beside these, but there are also many ways to make Halloween easier for children with additional or special needs, so that they can join in too. Here’s a few ideas:
Helpful Halloween Hints
Prepare special needs children in advance, giving them a visual timetable of what is going to happen, how and when.
Find some friendly neighbors who are known to your child, that you can visit safely with your child, knowing that they won't do anything too scary or surprising.
Provide ear defenders for your child, so that any unexpected noises, fireworks etc. are less of a problem. (Click here to find some on amazon: https://amzn.to/4dYxVTr)
Choose costumes that are not gory and blood-soaked. It’s more about the dressing up than who can look the most terrifying; there are plenty of options to choose from.
With this in mind, maybe host an alternative ‘light party,’ a counter-cultural celebration of things that are bright, light, colorful and good. This leads to loads more variety with the dressing up, just as much fun, and no scares!
Choose sugar-free sweets, or better yet, try some healthier snacks themed around Halloween (satsumas as ‘mini pumpkins,’ for example).
If you are hosting a party, think about who might be left out, and make sure you remember to invite them.
Have fun, but keep checking on how your child is feeling. If they are struggling, have something that they love doing ready at home, so that you can easily return to that and help them have fun in a different way. Examples include carving pumpkins (they don’t have to be scary), making pumpkin mini-pies, decorating a jar to put a battery night-light in, apple bobbing, toasting marshmallows, etc.
I hope that Halloween is a great success for you all this year, especially for those of you with children with additional or special needs!
Mark Arnold (The Additional Needs Blogfather) is the Additional Needs Ministry Director for Urban Saints’ pioneering additional needs ministry, including training, consultancy, conference speaking and resourcing. He is co-founder of the ‘Additional Needs Alliance’ and is founder of ‘The Dads Fire Circle’. He is a ‘Churches for All’ partner, a member of the ‘Council for Disabled Children’ the ‘European Disability Network’ and the ‘Living Fully Network’, serves on the executive for ‘Children Matter!’ and writes a monthly additional needs column for Premier Youth and Children’s Work (YCW) magazine as well as being a writer/contributor for Evangelical Focus, Firefly Community, Key Ministry, The Mighty, Different Dream, DAD.info, and BRF Parenting For Faith. Mark is the author of ‘How To Include Autistic Children And Young People In Church’ creating a place of belonging and spiritual development for all. Mark is dad to James, a 22-year-old Autistic young man, who journeys with Epilepsy, Learning Difficulties and Anxiety.
