"A sword will pierce your soul." Our adult Sunday school teacher quoted Luke 2:35 and glanced around the room. "Have your children ever pierced your soul?"
I nodded emphatically. The teacher gave me a quizzical look. Could he sense that the sword that pierced my soul after our baby boy was born was piercing it once again? That I was once again hearing the doctor describe a condition I hadn't know existed until then?
"Your baby has a tracheoesophageal fistula," the doctor said. "He needs immediate surgery or he will die."
Diagnosis was the first of many swords to pierce my soul in the years to come. Some had everything to do with his medical condition:
Complications requiring more surgeries
Feeding issues
One GI issue after another
Frequent viruses and bacterial infections
PTSD as a result of early, invasive medical procedures and treatments
Some had nothing to do with his health issues at all:
Children being mean on the playground
The call after he was in a car accident
Girlfriends we weren't crazy about
Life choices that seemed at odds with our values
A tenuous relationship during his young adult years.
"A sword will pierce your soul," the Sunday school teacher repeated. "If parenting pierced the soul of Mary, who raised a child who was fully human and fully divine, then we know that it will pierce our souls, too."
Michelangelo’s Pieta. Photo credit: visit-vaticancity.com/rome
The teacher mentioned other instances when raising Jesus caused his parents pain:
When 12-year-old Jesus at the temple, and they didn't know where he was
When he chastised his mother at the wedding in Cana
When the crowds said Jesus was insane
When his own brothers didn't believe in him
When Mary watched her Son die on the cross.
The list was long. Heartbreaking. All too familiar to us, the parents of children who look different. Who act different. Who perceive the world differently.
As the teacher walked us through those hard passages, Luke 2:51 caught my eye.
But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.
My breath caught as the treasures of parenting my son came flooding back:
The warm, solid weight of him in my arms
His first smile
His first step
His small, soft hand in mine while we crossed the street
His presence
His being
His life.
I treasure those moments. They more than make up for the swords that have pierced my soul. Whenever the pain of the sword overwhelms your soul, search for the treasures of parenting your child.
Find them, no matter how small.
Cling to them, no matter how fleeting.
Rest in them, no matter how strange it may feel.
Treasure the memories. Store them in your heart. Rejoice in the child God has entrusted to you. Because every child is a treasure. Every child's life should be greeted with joy.
Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregivng community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. See Jane Run!, the first book in the West River cozy mystery series will be released in June of 2022.
