Coronavirus? Quarantine? No handmade gifts from school or church? No cute pictures at church of everyone dressed up? This is going to be a Mother’s Day like no other. But this year let’s make it our mission to find joy in the midst of it all!
My picture from Mother’s Day last year is one of my favorites ever. Our women’t ministry at church had designed a cute, springy photo background where moms and their kids could get their pictures taken. Knowing that my son James (with level 3 autism) might not enjoy posing for a picture and smiling on Sunday morning in a lobby full of people, we got all dressed up on Saturday night and walked over to the church to take a picture with me and my boys. We took a couple dozen (like we always do), and I got one I especially loved. I loved it so much, I actually printed it and put in in a frame (instead of just leaving it on the camera roll on my phone).
I can’t remember what else we did last year, but I’m sure we talked to my mother-in-law on the phone and spent time with my mom, who lives close. I probably had whatever I wanted for lunch and said thank you for my gifts.
But this year is going to be a lot different! No church, no hanging out with my mom, no cute photo spot. I went ahead and ordered a gift or two for myself, knowing that it’s hard to remember a holiday is coming up when you aren’t even sure what day of the week it is most of the time. We could get takeout for lunch, but the plans will be up to me for sure (hopefully my older son will at least help with the dishes). And on top of everything else, my husband is having surgery on Thursday, so he’ll still be recovering on Mother’s Day.
All of this could make me a little sad. If thinking about how you’ll be spending Mother’s Day makes you sad, that’s understandable and expected!
But what if we prepared our minds and our hearts now for what’s to come on Sunday so we’re able to focus on the joyful moments that we might miss otherwise?
Habakkuk 3:17&18 paint a dim picture of scarcity and desolation for the people of the time. But it also has one of my favorite verses in the Old Testament:
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
“I will take joy …” it says, even when everything seems wrong. Even when falling into depression, giving into disappointment, or dwelling on unmet expectations would be easier. No, I will take joy. I will make it my own. I will work for it and find it on a Mother’s Day that may not be Instagram worthy or Pinterest perfect. Because joy is a gift, but sometimes it takes a little effort.
Here are a few practical ways to help yourself take joy this Mother’s Day:
Adjust your expectations. Accepting that this year will be different is the first step! I could get mad that my husband is so busy making a plan for church to reopen and having surgery that he won’t shop in time for a gift, or I can just send him a couple links of stuff I’d like. Adjusting my expectations helps me not feel neglected or forgotten.
Remember you aren’t the only one disappointed this year. My friend Becky Davidson has learned many lessons about contentment since her husband Jeff passed away. She’s an encouragement to me and so many when we need to remember we aren’t alone. If you feel yourself thinking I’m the only one having a rough day, think about me. Think about Becky. Think about every mom who clicked on this link so she could feel a little less alone this weekend. (Becky is going to be my guest on a special Mother’s Day episode of Self Care and Soul Care for the Caregiver next week! I hope you’ll join us to be encouraged!).
Reach out to make some else’s day brighter. Is there another mom you know who may also struggle this weekend? God could use you to bless her in a huge way! I’m the director of special-needs ministry at our church, and I decided since the moms wouldn’t be able to come to church and get the gifts we had planned for them, I’d deliver gifts to their houses! It brought them joy and me too!
I may not get the perfect picture like I did last year on Mother’s Day, but it can still be a joyful day for me and for you. Let’s focus on finding that joy and thanking God for the gifts we do have!
Sandra Peoples is a special-needs mom and sibling. She and her family live outside of Houston, TX where she serves her church as the director of special-needs ministry. She’s the author of Unexpected Blessings: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special-Needs Family and the host of the podcast, Self Care and Soul Care for the Caregiver. You can connect with her at sandrapeoples.com.
