November is Caregiver Awareness Month. As someone who became one of my dad’s caregivers before I started school, I grew up thinking everyone in the world was aware of caregivers and caregiving. As a young adult my husband and I cared for a son born with a life-threatening medical condition, and his typical sibling. As members of the sandwich generation, my brother, sister, and I cared for our mother for 15 years after she was diagnosed with dementia.
This explains why, when I first heard that November is Caregiver Awareness Month, I was incredulous, and I still am.
How can the general public be unaware of family caregivers? I think most people are aware that family caregivers exist. That said, I do believe that most people aren’t aware of what family caregiving is like.
They aren’t aware of the sacrifices made by members of a caregiving family.
They aren’t aware of the commitment family caregivers make.
They aren’t aware of the isolation family caregivers experience.
They aren’t aware of the joy caregivers find in actively living our their love for family.
They aren’t aware that caregiving is a holy calling.
They aren’t aware of how to support and encourage caregivers.
Image from @leyameera on Unsplash.
I could write an entire post about each item on that list, but for now I’d like to suggest 10 ways you can support and encourage caregiving families you know and love.
Be present. Mobility and toileting issues make it hard for caregiving families to come to your home so visit them in theirs. Or in the hospital. Or at their residential facility. If face-to-face options don’t work, set up FaceTime, Zoom, or phone calls. Or text. Or email. Do whatever you can to show caregivers you value them and want to connect with them.
Provide respite. Offer to be trained to care for the loved one––adult or child––for a few hours or an afternoon or during church and Sunday school or even overnight, so the caregivers can get away, go to church, or reconnect with their spouse. It’ll seem daunting at first, but you can do it.
Extend grace. Getting anywhere on time is a challenge for caregiving families. Caregivers have to pack extra supplies. They have to load both their loved one and mobility devices. They have to find a handicapped parking spot. So when they show up at church or school programs or a birthday party late, extend grace. Acknowledge the effort they expended to get there and be grateful that they made it.
Bring meals. Family caregivers are constantly juggling meeting their loved one’s needs and completing typical household chores. Meals are a chore that rolls around three times a day. You can take one meal off their plates––pun intentional––by providing food that you cooked yourself or picked up at a restaurant. If you stay and eat with them, all the better!
Do odd jobs. These can range from a big commitment like washing windows or laundry to smaller jobs like changing lightbulbs and bringing in their mail, from mowing grass and shoveling snow to walking the dog. The key to success in this case is to give the caregiver a list of what you could do instead of telling them to call if they need something.
Become a cleaning crew. Cleaning is kind of like cooking. It never ends. So offer to clean the house. Or one closet. Or just the kitchen. Or the garage. Or the garden bed. Or a vehicle. Or to bathe the dog. You know how much you’d love to have someone make such an offer to you. Multiply that feeling by ten and you’ll be getting close to how it makes a family caregiver feel.
Run errands. Call the caregiver before you put in your grocery order for pick-up and offer to pick up and deliver their order as well. Offer to take their kids to school, athletic practices, and church activities. Take their pet to the vet. Go on a Walmart run. Or to sit with their loved one while the family caregiver picks up meds at the pharmacy. Running errands for family caregivers gives them room to breathe.
Schedule tech visits. Arrange a time each week to help family caregivers with their phones, tablets, computers, and wi-fi. You can deal with glitches, downloading and learning to use new apps, or show them how to place online grocery orders. Solving tech issues caregivers are dealing with is huge.
Pay their way to a caregiving conference. Depending on the family, find a conference about elder care, mental health issues, a specific childhood condition, or a disability conference such as Key Ministry’s Disability and the Church. These conferences are great opportunities to network with other family caregivers and learn about new resources.
Point family caregivers toward hope. When you offer practical help to family caregivers, you are being the hands and feet of Jesus. Your loving actions and your long term presence will speak volumes to caregivers as they deal with struggles, hard decisions, and grief. Be prepared to point caregivers to the hope found in Jesus, not when you’re ready for the conversation, but when they are. However they respond to the gospel, stay involved in their lives as long as they request your presence, and pray for the rest of their lives and yours.
Since November is Caregiving Awareness Month, I encourage you to choose to do something from the list above for a caregiving family in your church, your neighborhood, or your children’s school between now and the new year. It could be the best Christmas gift––other than baby Jesus––the family has ever received.
Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregiving community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She’s also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and Amazon. See Jane Dig!, the fourth book in the West River cozy mystery series, which features characters affected by disability, was released in October of 2024 and is also available on Amazon.
