From the Pit of Fear and Darkness to Love and Light

During my mid 40s, I went through a period of time where I suffered extensively from the effects of anxiety and depression. I had become agoraphobic, and developed a variety of physical ailments. My mental and physical health struggles impacted every aspect of my life: family, career, etc. It felt like there was no way out.

I knew if something didn't change soon, my continued existence in human form looked bleak. I was trying everything I could to "fix" the situation: counseling, diet modifications, medical treatment, increased spiritual activities, etc. While all these activities did help, what made the biggest difference was a scripture passage that I had read many times before. But this time, it really leapt off the page.

Second Corinthians 10:5 states that I am to hold my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ and the word of God. Why was this so transforming? It meant two things. First, it meant that it was totally normal for my brain to produce and experience thoughts of all types and kinds, shapes and sizes. Second, it meant that I, me, my identity as a person, was not the same as thoughts that occur. I/”me” was the conscious mind awareness or Self who scripture instructed to notice thoughts, and assess them for truthfulness.

Immediately, it felt like a 100-pound weight was lifted off my shoulders: unplanned, involuntary, random thoughts were not "me," and were totally and completely meaningless and irrelevant. Whew! 

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I shared this truth recently with a very distressed woman, who contacted me by phone. She was suffering from major anxiety and depression. When I informed her of this truth about her thoughts, she began to weep and sob bitterly. She said she had never looked at thoughts this way before.

I began to no longer resist thoughts, try to illuminate them, or try to change them. I actually welcome them now. They're not "me." They're just regular, normal, every day brain processes that have no initial meaning or significance whatsoever. When I notice a fearful thought, I simply reply with biblical truths from the Gospel of Matthew: "I don't worry about life, my body, or tomorrow."

Over time, the frequency and intensity of fearful thoughts, and the corresponding feelings and emotions they often produce, began to diminish. I was being transformed by the renewal of my mind (Romans 12:2) and the truth was setting me free (John 8:32). Since God's Word says I am to be transformed by the renewal of my mind, of course that meant it would take time for me to experience the restoration that God's word promises.

Over time, my physical illnesses were healed; many physical ailments that people experience are emotionally induced. It's all pretty miraculous, actually. I went from being housebound and very ill to traveling across the country. All I can say is that I have no choice now but to do my part, to help those who struggle with anxiety or depression. I was once lost, but now I'm found.

Guest blogger John Patrick has been a gerontologist since 1988. He is a former adjunct professor of healthcare administration, was a state licensed healthcare administrator for 25 years, and is a certified NAMI support group facilitator. He's worked in a variety of church ministry roles. He's the author of a new book: Christian Mental Health—From The Pit of Fear and Darkness, To Love and Light, published by Westbow Press, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers. He currently works full-time in the healthcare field.

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