I was watching a YouTube recently where the Washington Post did an experiment where they took the most renowned violinist playing some of the greatest classical works in the last three hundred years on a violin that sold for $3.5 million dollars and had him play it in a subway entrance at L'Enfant Plaza Metro Station in Washington D.C. Joshua Bell was the musician, he played for nearly 45 minutes while over 1,000 people passed by. The experiment was to learn how many people would stop to notice, show any kind of appreciation including giving a monetary donation, or even engage with him in between songs.
In the article in Washington Post, the musician made about $32 dollars from 32 people, only 7 which stopped for more than 60 seconds. Only one person talked to him afterwards, who actually recognized him from a previous performance. The lesson: you need to stop and listen to the music.
We often talk about hidden disabilities. The emotional, behavioral or developmental challenges—or as I heard someone describe PTSD, the scars you don't see—create barriers at times for people to engage with others and to worship. A new year is starting, so I want to encourage you as the pastor, congregation member who is a parent of someone with a hidden disability, or member/volunteer who has your own hidden disability to find ways to be more mindful so that you are not like the 1,000 subway riders who miss a great opportunity.
Break The Stigma And Talk About It
My church actually did this in May 2019 ; we talked about mental health and other disabilities from the stage. The hope was first to normalize the topic so that we end stigma, then provide resources as well as a listening ear for those who wanted to hear more and talk. The statistic I took from that article came from the Lifeway Research which says "49 percent of pastors say they rarely or never speak to their congregation about mental illness." If you actually want to notice what is happening, educate your congregation and encourage them to open their eyes, I created a resource to help educate your congregation with mental health awareness cards.
Slow Down And Take Notice
My very first article for Key Ministry was on the topic of mindfulness as a spiritual formation technique but also as a coping skill for your mental health. In reality, mindfulness is the art of being present. So when church is over and you need to rush to pick up your child from Sunday school, get to Sunday lunch, or catch the latest football game, you miss this opportunity to slow down and take notice. Find that family that has been struggling to attend services and check-in with them. Reach out and offer to meet with that couple from small group who was recently worried about their parenting their son who has autism, or connect with an individual you don't recognize, but it might be their first time visiting because they have been struggling with depression and trauma and wanted to see if God and Christians can help. But it requires that we slow down and be more mindful. Don't miss the music.
Recognize Their Work
When I was on staff in youth ministry, my lack of remembering names became an occupational hazard. You could tell me your name a thousand times and I will forget it, so when I needed to build relationships with teens, I needed to find a different approach. The thing is, I can remember nearly everything else about you, so I built off of that. Instead of remembering people's names, my "saying hi" skill was to notice when someone got a haircut. It was my version of "I see you." I remembered much more important and meaningful things too, but this was one of those ins for me. Go practice it for yourself with your congregation. To that individual who has issues with socialization but came to church, go tell them to keep at it and offer help if they find they need it. I love Sue Sutton's suggestions of empowering people with learning disabilities. And keep supporting your pastors as they move more and more into ministry which supports hidden disabilities and their families and friends.
What is one way you find yourself being more mindful to not miss the music that is happening in your church or community?
Jeremy Smith is a clinical mental health counselor in Ohio and founder of www.churchandmentalhealth.com.
