My daughter arrived in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) in the middle of the night on the eve of Thanksgiving. A tough respiratory virus attacked her lungs, and she needed a substantial amount of oxygen support. And now, this unexpected illness meant Thanksgiving was going to be completely different than we had all planned.
Are you scrounging for thankfulness this holiday season? Holidays can be a challenge for those walking through hard days. Perhaps you feel like you've been handed the short-end of the stick; your child is struggling, you’re exhausted and it seems like everybody else has life with a bit more gravy. It’s easy to focus on our circumstances, take stock of what we have and where we are and end up feeling completely void of thankfulness. Is there a cure for this?
I first suspected I had ADHD as a teenager, but finding the right professional to take me seriously was much harder than I expected. Previous attempts only ended in frustration and tears.
Enjoying the holidays with a food allergy sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? After all, eating together is an integral component of the holiday season. I looked forward to making our traditional holiday foods until I was diagnosed with a dairy allergy in 2012. What was to enjoy about the holidays when the foods associated with it were off limits to me?
It was a short, ten-minute drive from the hotel to the residential facility. I maintained composure while I navigated the busy public roads, and then residential streets. I had a whole range of emotions racing through my body, mind and spirit as we pulled into the campus. This was not just a pleasure drive or a routine errand, this was a significant milestone in the life of my son and our family.
Nothing I did as a mom seemed to help my son. None of the therapies; none of the love; none of the counseling—personal, marital, and family. Nothing could “fix” our son. But daily, as I sat and whispered Maranatha, Come Lord Jesus, the Lord showed up. He let me know that I was more than Joel’s mom, Matt and Justin’s mom, Wally’s wife. I belonged to God. I was rooted and grounded in God. My life had purpose. My true self began emerging.
One night, around 2:00 a.m., I saw a Facebook post: “We’re having an awful night. Anyone else awake? Is it just us?” What followed was an endless stream of comments from mostly moms talking about being awake with ASD kids. Here was a space where we could be seen and understood, be heard and not critiqued, and could connect.
I can’t imagine the feeling when my son actually walks across that stage, when he is handed his diploma, when we get to take those family pictures with his cap and gown. I have said thank you along the way to each of his teachers, aides and therapists, but that day I want to scream and shout it! Here are a few ideas to say “thank you” to the helpers in your life as your child finishes strong.
I stood up slowly, and took in that space one last time, grabbed a couple more pictures and said goodbye to therapists I would see many more times, and other therapists and teachers I’d never see again. I waited as my wife finished some conversations. One last quick time, I reviewed the highlight reel in my head of all these meetings here, but more specifically, the hopes and dreams I brought into this room.
